Book Review: Brief (Case) Encounters by Alexander Hammond

I found myself gritting my teeth as I nearly punched the "buy now with one click option" to have Hammond's Brief (Case) Encounters delivered to my kindle. I think the reaction may have had something to do with not having time to spend all night reading this title... something I knew I would (and did) wind up doing once I bought it. I thought I would be disappointed because this title is a non-fiction account based on the true life shenanigans the writer always seems to find himself in during his international business trips doing...whatever it is he does, because I happen to be a huge fan of his fiction. I was not disappointed. This book is quite simply, one of the funniest f###### assortment of cracked out tales I've ever read. If you decide to set sail on this journey with Hammond, prepare to engage in the side-splitting, knee jerking laughter that only a Brit with a wonderfully offensive, dry sense of humor can give to you. Briefcase Encounters is a wild, and often stupid ride that will leave the reader gasping for air and asking "what the f###" or "poor f###### bastard." Read this, and I think you'll agree, Hammond houses a mastership for weaving fantasy worlds and he can also make you laugh until you wet yourself.

Books To Read: Briefcase Encounters by Alexander Hammond

Preface

When was the last time you were chased by a wild animal? Have you ever tried to avoid sleeping with a famous porn star? What would you do when an earthquake hits and you’re on the thirty-second floor of your hotel? How do you react when your dinner tries to walk off your plate whilst you’re trying to eat it?

Welcome to my ‘day job’–the world of the business traveller. Note that I say business traveller, not simply traveller. When I’m not writing fantasy literature, you’ll find me with ever-present jet lag, a bulging briefcase and buttocks like a dartboard as a result of perpetual inoculations. To make ends meet I spend my life swanning around the globe at my clients’ expense, often, to their horror, at their very considerable expense.

It was Emerson who once said No man would find anything in travel that he did not bring with him on the journey. I can only assume this was meant philosophically. Deep emotional scars, romantic nightmares, monumental confusion and highly disturbing dining experiences are unusual things to consciously burden oneself with when packing for an extended trip. I endeavour to leave such things at home and generally pick them up en route.

I’m always filled with feelings of profound envy when standing, suited, at an airport, surrounded by excited holidaymakers, eagerly awaiting their flight for two weeks of rampant sex, good food and relentless sunshine. Would that I were there for the same reason. Relentless sunshine is something I generally only see from the window of my meeting room, good food can be a relative thing and as for rampant sex, well I suppose the ten-second adult movie previews in my hotel room occasionally serve their purpose.


Business travellers are compelled to get under the skin of a country immediately, mix in with local people and experience real situations. Admittedly, whilst this can be thoroughly wretched (especially for a xenophobic Brit), it’s also a fertile breeding ground for unique and unforgettable moments.

It was concerning such moments that my publisher made the blunt suggestion that I should stop moaning about them and keep a journal.

“Not a chance. I’m a fantasy novelist,” I told him
.
“I’m thinking around 50,000 words,” he murmured.

“Look, I’m really not a journal writer,” I insisted.

“It’s settled, then … we’ll publish in the summer,” he continued.

My blustered protestations concerning a lack of time, combined with an unhealthy surfeit of false modesty, did little to deflect encouragement.

He dryly observed that Marcus Aurelius, whilst Emperor of the Roman Empire, had found time every day to write a few lines. Surely I, with perhaps less-demanding constraints on my time, could do the same?

 **My review of this wonderfully hilarious title will probably post tomorrow. In the meantime, I implore you to order it and start reading. Its one of those "devoured in a night," type of things.
Links!

Paperback on Amazon 
Kindle on Amazon 
To learn more about the author 

On Lit Snobbery and the End of the World

 Everyone that knows me in real life is aware that I run an unofficial book group down here in Alabama, which I cleverly dubbed The Madison County Book Club.

This month I forced everyone at gunpoint into reading Alexander Hammond’s collection of disturbingly exquisite short stories entitled: Tales From The Edge of Forever.

Now that the month and book are swiftly coming to an end, I’d like to tell a humorous story about an argument I got into with a good buddy, who happens to think he knows everything, because he has an M.A. in Literature. For the purposes of this post I will call him Douche Bagg-The Incredibly Obnoxious and Redundant Lit Snob. I obviously don’t want to be rude and use the man’s real name.

The first story in Hammond’s book is entitled The End of The World, and I’d like to share a brief passage from this story before getting on with this ridiculous tale...

The night was warm though not unbearably so. It was for nights like these that the lone figure walking along the beach had traveled so far. A balmy ambiance pervaded and with the sun long gone, the walker was content to note that the sand still held some of the Caribbean sun’s fierce heat.

Yes I know, totally delicious writing and a natural starting point for our discussion of this book. I was chosen, as the person who had read the book the most times, to lead the discussion. As I started this venture I could feel Douche Bagg’s eyes on me, waiting to unleash a scathing rebuttal to whatever was about to come out of my mouth. Despite this fact, I squared my shoulders and started in on what I liked about Hammond’s writing style. Whilst I was in the middle of this, I heard an obnoxious, “Ahem,” which caused me to turn to Douche Bagg and look him in those steely, hunter green eyes.

         “That’s all well and good, but what do you think this story is about?”

         For some reason I was floored by this particular question.

         “Did you hear me, Natasha? What is The End of the World is about?”

        

         “Uh, the story is about sex…” I blurted out stupidly. To my relief, the thirteen other people in the group nodded their heads approvingly…except for of course, Old Douche Bagg.

         “Sex?” he asked dubiously. “Are you referring to this last passage?” he snarled, snatching my signed copy of the book out of my lap and drawing an incredibly pretentious fountain pen out of his front pocket. To my chagrin, he then proceeded to circle a passage before reading it out loud to the group.

As they embraced Sam felt as never before. The deliciousness of the girl’s femininity descended like a blissful mist as her long nailed fingers began their sensual exploration. Within moments the girl skillfully liberated Sam’s skirt from her tanned legs and started on the buttons of her flimsy blouse.

         “That passage makes you believe this is about sex?” he asked now, startling me out of the trance Hammond’s writing usually sends me into.

         “Clearly,” was my witty retort.

        

         “Bit of a juvenile assessment, don’t you think?”

         “Probably, why don’t you tell me what its about Dr. Bagg?” I asked hotly, rolling my eyes sympathetically at the rest of my book group.

Which he gladly did…

For the next twenty-five minutes I listened to a pretentious speech about beginnings and endings, and blah blah blah. Douche Bagg was in the middle of cleverly telling us about how Hammond was simply trying to say that for “anything to begin…something has to end.”

         At some point during this very long monologue, I managed to snatch the book back from him in annoyance. As I did so he laughed at me and asked in a queer voice, “Did I offend you?”

         “Not at all. We both said the same thing.”

         “Clearly, you weren’t listening. A story being about sex and using sex as a metaphor…are no where near the same thing.”

         At this point I threw the book at him in annoyance and grumbled, “And clearly you don’t get laid much if you think the world doesn’t begin and end with sex…”

         Douche Bagg stole my book after that last comment…God, I really hope it gets him laid.

This is where the asshole scribbled all over my poor book.

You can purchase Tales From The Edge of Forever here



The author's blog can be found here

Interview With Fantasy Author: Alexander Hammond

I love Writers Face-the online networking website for writers because without that I wouldn't have ever had the pleasure of interviewing fantasy author Alexander Hammond about his newly released analogy of short stories.

I won't bore you with too much of my own commentary. I'll just say i asked Hammond about his background, other bodies of work, writing process and major influences.

On his background Hammond states that:

"I’m a Brit and located in both London and New York. I travel extensively internationally and when I’m not travelling, I’m in either of those two locations….though I prefer New York. Fabulous place.

I’ve been writing for about fifteen to twenty years (I’m nudging middle age). Initially I wrote advertising copy…lots of it…which prompts the necessity for disciplined writing and an economy of words. Nothing is wasted.


I then co wrote a cartoon strip for a number of years and again, I mention the history of this in my bio on that site so I won’t repeat myself. This type of writing requires even more discipline insomuch as the generally required standard for a three box strip in a newspaper is a maximum of twenty five words or less…plus its got to be funny! This was a wonderful experience.


So, my first book was The Zodiac Files. A compilation of the cartoon strips by the same name. Its now long out of print and as I co wrote it with my then wife (who conceived the idea entirely on her own), whilst it was my first book, it was hers as well. Credit where it’s due. We used pen names.


I continued to write, completing two humorous travelogues based on my business travelling. I tried for a long while to get them published but to no avail. This will change this year however as I’m currently discussing their publication with a publisher at present. This publishers interest came about as a result of them knowing about Tales from the Edge of Forever being published. Once one company has ‘taken the risk’ then it encourages other companies. Equally it’s the same with agents. I’ve had two approaches since this book became available.


Once the carton project died I continued to write. Firstly a screenplay which I thought was the best thing ever (it wasn’t!) and then a further movie screenplay entitled Perfect Disability which there is currently some interest in from various parties. The pitch is Notting Hill meets The Usual Suspects.

Two years ago, through a series of personal connections, a party who knew of my ability to write, commissioned me to ghost write a book on behalf of a third party. Sadly I cannot discuss this any more due to legal constraints. It did achieve a modest success…for the person for whom I wrote it."

That brings us to his third book Tales from the Edge of. Forever. Hammond states that this was his personal favorite...


"and very much the sort of thing that I like to read myself. Writing a cartoon strip aimed at a sophisticated adult audience made me sharpen my craft in creating the most impact in the briefest possible space, hence short stories based on my favourite subject (fantasy) seemed like a fun idea. The project was a true labour of love."

Q: What writer's have influenced your writing the most?

"I’ve always loved fantasy and science fiction. My god was Arthur C Clarke who I discovered when I was around eight years old. He took me to places I’d never been before or even thought existed in people’s minds. Philip K Dick was next. I read Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep’ way before it was (brilliantly) filmed as Blade Runner and the same can be said of We can remember it for you Wholesale which was appallingly filmed as Total Recall.


First reading Frank Herbert’s Dune was a revelation of almost spiritual proportions insomuch as the originality of the storyline was breathtaking. And so it goes one. Asimov, Carl Sagan’s Contact’. William Harrison’s collection of short stories Rollerball, including the short story of the same name. Firstly brilliantly filmed by Norman Jewison in 1975 and then disgracefully remade in the train wreck that was the 2002 version.


In tandem with science fiction I also loved more spiritually based fiction such as the fantastic work of Richard Bach. Quite frankly, any of his titles are worth reading. A superb wordsmith.
So, that being the case, I wanted to try and create some stories that crossed both genres and this anthology is a result of those endeavours. I started each one with the thought process ‘What if?’ and went from there. Deity was an example of that. In some of the stories I had a very clear view of where I wanted to go. Stories such as Abracadabra, The Man who thought Hell was a breeze and My Special Guest Tonight are good examples of that.


With some however, I had no idea where I was going to go and they took on a life of their own. I would write a few hundred words a day and then cogitate for a day on where I could take the story, or just sometimes try an open myself up and let a direction come to me. It sounds all very whimsical and maybe it, is but creativity is a difficult thing to pin down as I’m sure you’ll know. Consequences, Ambition and The Button are examples of this.

Q: Where did you get your story ideas for this anthropology?


My ideas and where they come from are generated by a (probably) over active imagination and a reluctance to truly grow up. I’ve watched and read far too much science fiction and fantasy in my life. Comic books and graphic Novels are also a passion. Whether it be Invisibles, Halo Jones or, at the other end of the scale….the numbingly good and yet totally horrifying Preacher series.

Additionally I also read a lot of ‘Hard Science’ books. Hawking, Sagan, Fyneman etc etc, which also influenced some of the more exotic physics referenced in the story’s Ambition and An Astronauts Dream."

I concluded this interview by asking Hammond if he could provide any advise for aspiring fantasy writers.


"Well, I know its often said so my advice is not original but, read as much as you and write as much as you can. Persist persist and persist and be brutal with your own critique. Read and re read again and again what you’ve put on the  page and think ‘How can I make this read better’. It’s a true chore but definitely worth the effort."


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